Conversations With My Soul

And I asked myself why I have yet to discover my treasure,
For I have looked high and low, searching endlessly,
For the joy, the love, the answers, and the comfort of knowing.
Surely God’s secrets are hidden somewhere, I reminded myself,
Unto which my soul cried out, “You have not searched your heart
And in fact, it is where the happiness of the world resides.
In love, you see, you will peace and peace of mind.”

In disbelief, I thought how could this be? For I only know happiness
From outside impulses of both my desires and my addictions.
My smile, though genuine, only reflects the love I wish to share,
For though I may find despair to cloud my thoughts,
I wish to shine bright for others so they can break free from darkness.
My actions unto others are fueled by my desires,
And my actions unto myself are fueled by my addictions.

“Then your treasure shall never be found,
For it’s contents sink deeper and deeper as you stray from self.
How can one seek to find that which he is running away from?
How can one find happiness when he surrounds himself elsewhere?
How can one know true, blissful joy, if he does not accept it?
These treasures are within you, just as I am within you,
And until the two become one, you will not see the true light.”

In anger, my thoughts began to run wild as I found myself
Battling with what I knew of this life, and what my soul knew of its life.
How do I accept the life I want while leaving the life I’ve created?
To which my soul replied, “Fear not the loss of this life,
For are you not living in despair because of it?
Free yourself from your thoughts, your fears, your worries.
You are bound by ego, and ego alone. Do you not hear my cries?”

“Indeed, I have heard your cries, for they awoke me from my slumber.
I have seen the path to glory, yet have strayed.
I have seen the roads to confusion and despair, yet have followed.
I have seen many routes and many roads in my time,
And though my heart knew of the one true calling,
I have abandoned the cries of my soul for the cries of this world.
Now, I only hear the cries of my physical self, begging to be rescued.”

“Then rescued you shall be,” my soul comforted me.
“He who finds light in the void shall be humbled, knowing love
For life is love for all, and love for all starts with love for self.”
As despair melted away and the dark clouds of my thoughts dissipated,
A moment of clarity swept my entire being, and I felt alive.
For the purpose of my pain was to prepare me for the pleasures of my life.
I am finally ready to walk in the light of love.